You may remember awhile back when the Bush Campaign was accused of "subliminally" planting the word, or perhaps more appropriately, the concept of "RATS" -- and linking it Democrats/Gore/Clinton (or God knows what) in a campaign commercial by focusing on the last four letters, presumably briefly (I never saw it... political propagandists know many mush brained Southern Californians already subliminally think "rats" when seeing "democrats" and so didn't run it here... at least not that this soft boiled egghead is aware).

This is actually quite a nasty charge on several levels. It insults the intelligence of the average voter if it was done; it insults the intelligence of that voter if it DID run by suggesting he/she would fall for it; and most of all, it is insulting to us mush brains who can't remember if it ran or not. But it goes deeper....

See, there is this infamous Nazi propaganda film dreamt up by Goebbels or someone while on a serious amphetamine binge in which the Jewish people are compared with this hoard of stampeding vermin. It only ran once in Nazi Germany or something -- possibly not at all -- it was too much even for a shit heel like Hitler. Hence to accuse Bush of running it is a pretty low blow. It's like subliminally flashing "Bush=Hitler" every six frames during a Coke commercial at the local drive-in movie.

More examples even a lunk head like me has picked up on include the use of repetitive phrases during debates (e.g., "fuzzy math"), the "Oprah/Tipper kiss thing," minorities littered neatly on the podium at the Republican Convention and the wearing of the red white and blue by the candidates during the debates. I mean shit, why don't they each just go put on a fucking Uncle Sam suit for Christ's sake already and get this dumb beauty contest over with once and for all?

Which brings me to Pat Buchanen (whose name I am not even going to make an attempt to spell correctly or consistently, assuming I use it again). I like his ads for many reasons.

First, they run during time slots during which all the other people who will waste money trying to get elected despite knowing they are in a pointless race which will end in their being trounced, so I don't have to worry about too many being swayed by them. Second, there's nothing too subliminal about them. They are pretty code word straight Neo-Nazi American Nationalistic Fascist Party (which used to be the great hope of a third party called "Reform"). Third, they make the guys who censored that Nazi - "Jewish Vermin" film look intelligent -- not that I like Nazis or anything -- I just think it's funny when they are made to look smart by a drunken hack of an ex-Nixon speech writer who has convinced himself he has an opinion.

Here's a typical Pat commercial, in case you don't watch TV during the off hours:

We see a man terrified because a bunch of rogue Canadians or Haitians or something have broken into his home. He dials '911' and gets a computerized menu asking what language he wants to use in reporting his emergency (none of which are English). Then the man is killed by the Canadians while listening to the menu (I think... I really don't watch too closely) and there's this bullshit about how voting for Pat is the only way to secure our borders with giant nuclear powered automatic heat sensor activated flame throwers.

Actually, voting for Pat is a good way to throw away your vote (which is your right, of course). Even when the real race is between two guys who turn when they hear someone call "Hey Doofus!" this election is not about who has the dumbest commercials (I mean if it was, we'd have seen Bush in a clown suit with one of those squirting flowers by now, right?).