REVIEW OF THE WEEK

by

BAO DAI OF HOLLYWOOD

DATELINE: HOLLYWOOD, 1 APRIL, 2001

AN HOUR LOST, AN HOUR WASTED, AN HOUR WANTED

Tonight, or technically at 2 a.m. tomorrow morning we lose an hour ... well, unless you live in Arizona or some other place which did not adopt Ben Franklin's whole "early to bed, early to rise, and you'll get my picture on the five" piece of bullshit, written and sold to the earliest teeming masses of murdering Euro Trash to invade the New World back when it was both new to them and sort of a separate world and five bucks was a lot of money.

If I remember my schooling correctly (and I might not), the entire concept behind "Day light Savings Time" was to allow the farmers an extra hour to work on their crops. although that really doesn't make a lot of sense since what with all those fucking roosters crowing at the sun you'd think they could just get up and do it in the morning anyway.

But we still have farmers, and I have nothing against helping them out ... anything to keep the price of frozen peas down. and I don't really mind Daylight Savings Time -- in fact I like it a lot more than regular time -- except for tonight.

See, I, like many people, will waste at least an hour fretting about the hour we will lose ... the hour which could otherwise be productively put to use sleeping or watching bad television or visiting stupid web sites like this one. I'll waste it just writing this and putting it up on the web.

See, what irks me is that instead of the usual 48-52 hours off from work a weekend brings, we only get 47-51 this weekend. True, sometime near Halloween we'll get the hour back, but it's not the same because most of us will waste it, either sleeping or not sleeping to experience it and then being sleep deprived.

I think it's a communist plot.

Why can't they take this hour from us on Monday ... say at three in the afternoon? It would suddenly be four. Same fucking result for the farmers, and a lot more people would look forward to it.

They can give it "back" in the dead of night ... only maybe don't tell us about it ... just let us all wake up and realize we still have an hour of sack time.

If the farmers want to get up and freeze peas, that's their business.