Now I could ask "Why does Coca-Cola taste so much better than the no name
brand I get from the thieving Chinaman who runs the store downstairs and
who charges $2.50 for a Red Bull," but that will come when the good folks
at Coca-Cola slip a fat envelope my way and until then, I say "Let them
And I could ask "Why does my monitor keep getting a yellow tint?" and,
perhaps more ominously "Why does the yellow tint vamoose when I give the
monitor a sharp swat or two and will this cause any permanent damage to
the monitor or my hand?" so count yourselves luck...
Nevertheless this is about a really important "Why?" -- perhaps not of the
significance of "Why are we?" or "Why does a room go dark when you turn
off the light?" (actually, "Where does the light go when you turn off the
lamp?" but I wanted to stick with my "Why?" theme), but still
important... important enough for a subtitle, and an emboldened one at
This morning at nine sharp I was at a private screening of the Special
re-Release of The Manchurian Candidate (and no, I'm not being
subliminally suggestive here... I don't think Mrs. Cheney is anything like
the character that nice old lady who stars on Murder She Wrote
played. Nor do I condone violence). I only bring up the old Sinatra
classic because the owner of the home where the screening was
held... where I saw Titanic on an Official Academy Award Member
Video Cassette, has a woody for George W... well, he'd have a woody for
anyone the Republicans told him too (filthy whore) and I kind of like the
guy, and really don't think he'd survive four years sucking on his pipe
while arguing in support of every bonehead initiative George
That's the personal reason... at least the only one I'm willing to 'fess
up to right now.
And no, the pounds of cocaine George W hoovered and kegs of beer poured
down his throat don't bother me -- after all anyone who can't see that our
other "option", Al Gore, took one too many LSD Trips in the early
Seventies is blind or just doesn't recognize the symptoms.
It's that he's mean... black of heart... apparently sold his soul to Satan
in the form of some back alley Republican Elephant Man. When they offed
that woman who had "found Jesus" in prison he reminded me of that Preppie
Murder guy dancing around a Sorority Room strangling some chick's stuffed
animal, mocking his victim (hmmmm... found Jesus in prison? Guess
contrary to popular belief Jesus is still awaiting execution at
Huntsville... or maybe "Jesus Day" -- the holiday every one thinks George
W declared because liked the guy and forgot about Christmas -- is really
the Day George did his Pilate imitation at the Alamo before masses of
Mexicans and they led the Man Who Would Be God into the lethal injection
No, I realize the first election of this Millennium (or the last of one of
it... possibly, but let's hope not both) is about as inspiring as the idea
of a dog fight between two three legged dogs with the trots, but just
think.... you know that under Bush, what's bad will only get worse (unless
you happen to be a toxic waste dumper or back alley abortionist [the
aforementioned back alley Republican Elephant Man?]) and what's okay will
at most stay the same...
....and you'll have to look at that idiotic "I'm a Sharp Dude" smirk for
at least four if not eight years.
Face it. It's a true dog race this year. Elect Gore and he probably
won't be re-electable by 2004 -- hell, he might even be indicted and have
his popularity plummet so low he'd need WWIII to save his Presidency and
by then George will be off running a Mexican Restaurant Supply Company
that fronts for a huge cocaine importing operation (er, I mean owning the
restaurant... he isn't qualified to run one... perhaps the ultimate reason
not to vote for him)... 4 more Clintonesque Gore years we can
handle... but 8 of that smirking piece of used toilet paper?
There's got to be better blood in the wings of both parties.....