<center><p> <b><u>REVIEW OF THE WEEK</u></b><p> by<p> <b>BAO DAI OF HOLLYWOOD</b></b><p> </center> <left> <b>DATELINE: HOLLYWOOD 06 AUGUST 2000</b><p> </left> <center> <b>WHY??????</b><p> </center>

No, I haven't opted to answer the Universal "Why?" echoing throughout the cosmos... in fact I haven't even opted to ask it, but hey, at least I didn't ask "Why Does My Computer Crash When Ever It Zips Within a Nanobyte of Delphi.com?" so you ought to be grateful swine.

Now I could ask "Why does Coca-Cola taste so much better than the no name brand I get from the thieving Chinaman who runs the store downstairs and who charges $2.50 for a Red Bull," but that will come when the good folks at Coca-Cola slip a fat envelope my way and until then, I say "Let them drink Genericola."

And I could ask "Why does my monitor keep getting a yellow tint?" and, perhaps more ominously "Why does the yellow tint vamoose when I give the monitor a sharp swat or two and will this cause any permanent damage to the monitor or my hand?" so count yourselves luck...

Nevertheless this is about a really important "Why?" -- perhaps not of the significance of "Why are we?" or "Why does a room go dark when you turn off the light?" (actually, "Where does the light go when you turn off the lamp?" but I wanted to stick with my "Why?" theme), but still important... important enough for a subtitle, and an emboldened one at that:

Why We Must Stop George W. Bush Become From Becoming President

This morning at nine sharp I was at a private screening of the Special re-Release of The Manchurian Candidate (and no, I'm not being subliminally suggestive here... I don't think Mrs. Cheney is anything like the character that nice old lady who stars on Murder She Wrote played. Nor do I condone violence). I only bring up the old Sinatra classic because the owner of the home where the screening was held... where I saw Titanic on an Official Academy Award Member Video Cassette, has a woody for George W... well, he'd have a woody for anyone the Republicans told him too (filthy whore) and I kind of like the guy, and really don't think he'd survive four years sucking on his pipe while arguing in support of every bonehead initiative George W. supports.

That's the personal reason... at least the only one I'm willing to 'fess up to right now.

And no, the pounds of cocaine George W hoovered and kegs of beer poured down his throat don't bother me -- after all anyone who can't see that our other "option", Al Gore, took one too many LSD Trips in the early Seventies is blind or just doesn't recognize the symptoms.

It's that he's mean... black of heart... apparently sold his soul to Satan in the form of some back alley Republican Elephant Man. When they offed that woman who had "found Jesus" in prison he reminded me of that Preppie Murder guy dancing around a Sorority Room strangling some chick's stuffed animal, mocking his victim (hmmmm... found Jesus in prison? Guess contrary to popular belief Jesus is still awaiting execution at Huntsville... or maybe "Jesus Day" -- the holiday every one thinks George W declared because liked the guy and forgot about Christmas -- is really the Day George did his Pilate imitation at the Alamo before masses of Mexicans and they led the Man Who Would Be God into the lethal injection chamber).

No, I realize the first election of this Millennium (or the last of one of it... possibly, but let's hope not both) is about as inspiring as the idea of a dog fight between two three legged dogs with the trots, but just think.... you know that under Bush, what's bad will only get worse (unless you happen to be a toxic waste dumper or back alley abortionist [the aforementioned back alley Republican Elephant Man?]) and what's okay will at most stay the same...

....and you'll have to look at that idiotic "I'm a Sharp Dude" smirk for at least four if not eight years.

Face it. It's a true dog race this year. Elect Gore and he probably won't be re-electable by 2004 -- hell, he might even be indicted and have his popularity plummet so low he'd need WWIII to save his Presidency and by then George will be off running a Mexican Restaurant Supply Company that fronts for a huge cocaine importing operation (er, I mean owning the restaurant... he isn't qualified to run one... perhaps the ultimate reason not to vote for him)... 4 more Clintonesque Gore years we can handle... but 8 of that smirking piece of used toilet paper?

There's got to be better blood in the wings of both parties.....