REVIEW OF THE WEEK

by

BAO DAI OF HOLLYWOOD

DATELINE: HOLLYWOOD, MAY 3, 2001

LOST IN SPACE

? Blogmania! # Not only do I feel lost in space, but I recently saw the movie. A lot of folks said it sucked, but I thought it was great. And perhaps the best part of it was, content wise, the fact that the Robinsons were not out to start a new world -- something that didn't bother me as a boy watching the show, but which came growling out of my subconscious home of All Things Taboo as I got older and recalled the TV series.

Now I've probably talked about this before, but then my life ain't all that exciting, so either catch another wave websurfer, or ride this one out.

See, in the movie version of Lost in Space the Robinson's take off to do something to enable the rather quick colonization of some stupid planet, and Dr. Smith was the saboteur whose country of allegiance wanted to get there first. In the TV version of Lost in Space, I think the Robinsons were just going off to start a new world on their own (okay, I probably missed the first episode), and Dr. Smith was the guy from West Hollywood or the Castro District of San Francisco who snuck/was trapped on board.

Now eventually, in the TV version, the family, lost on some lame TV Set of a planet or had their mission been successful would have had to procreate. Mom had Dad, Judy had Don, who was stud enough for two chicks and thus sooner or later would have been slipping sausage to Penny on the side... but who was there for Will?

Was the trusty robot equipped with a vacu-jack or would Dr. Smith finally persuade Young William to come over to "his" side? Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it wouldn't do much to get a colony going on Alpha Homo or where ever, and Dr. Smith was pretty consistently putting the moves on the kid, as if he was trying to get him in a compromising position at or near puberty (probably why the show was canceled ... the producers realized the logical out come/coming out of the story line).

Or was Will supposed to hook up with Penny in some bizarre genetic inbreeding experiment? Kill his father and fuck June Lockhart?

And they arrested Jim Morrison for saying it in Miami.

Anyway, the next time someone is ragging on the content of anything from MTV to Nick at Nite, bring up the original Lost in Space and that should shut their pie hole for a while. Tell me TV wasn't perverted in the Sixties. No wonder the world is so fucked up with shows suggestive of pedophilia and Robosex and polygamy beamed into our homes by the networks courtesy of RJ Reynolds Cigarettes.

At least in the movie Will gets to live multiple lives building his time machine with the mutant Dr. Smith (and somehow the idea of his having sex with the mutant Smith never crosses my mind -- but then maybe he mutated into a chick...) besides, in the movie he isn't so overtly feminine he doesn't give anyone but Penny the creeps.

But frankly, as far as good sci-fi goes, I'd give the movie a 7. As far as good camp goes, the TV show was definitely a 10.

I guess it's all in what you value.